So I Threw A Coconut In He’s Face…….

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My  drinking buddy is always right.
He said onion is the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut in he’s face.

coconut

Question:

Do cannibals get hungry one hour after eating a china man?
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Three cooks, one from Kentucky, one from California and one from Oregon, were sitting on a park bench passing the time. Suddenly, the cook from Kentucky reaches under the bench and drags out a new bottle of bourbon, takes a big swig, tosses the bottle into the air and shoots it with a pistol.
“Why the heck did you do that ?” asked the cook from California.
“We got lot’s of bourbon in Kentucky” was the reply.
Next the cook from California takes out a bottle of fine wine, takes a huge swig, throws the bottle into the air and shoots it with a pistol.
“Why the heck did you do that ?” asked the cook from Oregon.
“We got lot’s of wine in California” was the reply.
The cook from Oregon takes out a bottle of Henry’s Private Reserve beer, takes a humongous swig and shoots the cook from California.
“Why the heck did you do that ?” asked the cook from Kentucky.
“We’ve got lot’s of Californians in Oregon” was the reply.
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How to reach inner peace:

 I am passing this on to you because it was passed on to me and it has definitely worked for me like a charm. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. It read: “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.” I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished… So far today I have finished one bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Scotch, some Valium, a small box of chocolates and 9 beers. You have no idea how good I feel. You may pass this on to those you feel are in need of Inner Peace.
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Strawberry toppings:

Young Hans lives across from a horse farm. The farmer was driving out unto the road with a load of horse “fertilizer”.
Hans saw him and called, “What’ve you got in your truck?”
“Horse Manure,” the farmer replied.
“It stinks! What are you going to do with it?” asked Hans.
“Put it on my strawberries,” answered the farmer.
“You ought to  come to our house,” Hans advised him.
“We put sugar and cream on ours.”
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Life is Good !  
It’s even better when you’re having fun !
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