It’s a Chef’s Life ….

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I saw this post by Mark Dale on FB and wanted to share it with you all :-)
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Chef Hans Susser

Chef Hans Susser

 

It’s a Chef’s Life ….
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What you can expect from making a living in a professional kitchen:
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1 You’ll almost always have open wounds on your hands and arms.

2 You’ll never meet new people because your social life deteriorates into non-existence.3 You’ll find it hard to start relationships because alone time will become a precious thing.

4 You’ll lose your social skills.

5 Your sense of humor will degrade into the politically incorrect and socially unacceptable

6 You’ll eventually start swearing like a sailor and you won’t even notice yourself doing it.

7 You’ll turn into an anorak/monomaniac and always turn all conversations back to food.

8 You’ll earn a pittance for years/decades.

9 You’ll either lose a vast amount of weight or gain a vast amount of weight.

10 You’ll never ever have a tan ever again.

11 You won’t become famous.

12 You’ll develop a habit, whether it be coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, cannabis, cocaine, or even red bull.

13 Your feet will get destroyed.

14 Your back will get destroyed.

15 Your hands will get destroyed.

16 You’ll live in a constant state of sleep deprivation, indefinitely.

17 You’ll have to ask your friends to plan everything around your schedule, which is incomplete opposition with their availability, because you never know your days off in advance and you probably won’t be able to change it.

18 You’ll become of a very highly strung nature

19 You’ll become more prone to temper flare ups

20 Your awareness of other people’s lack of efficiency and common sense will increase and your tolerance of it will decrease.

21 You’ll spend the largest part of your life cooped up in a small, undecorated room with poor ventilation, high temperatures, a lot of noise, humidity, no natural light and no windows, with a small group of people who will become your only social interactions.

22 You will work longer hours than you ever imagined possible or thought legal.

23 You will spend all your waking hours on your feet, never getting a chance to sit down even for 5 minutes.

24 Your shortest work days will be longer than most people’s longest, and your longer workdays, which make up about half of your working week, will be longer than the average person is awake in a day.

25 You will not cook gourmet dinners at home. You’ll be too tired, and too fed up of cooking.

26 You will probably start eating mostly fast food and cheap instant noodles.

27 You will be the subject of abuse, whether physical or emotional. Officially, it will be as a test of character. In reality, it will be as a form of entertainment.

28 You will end up spending so much time at work that your colleagues will know you better than your partner/family/friends do.

29 You will meet and form strong bonds with types of people whom you’d previously never even have imagined sharing conversations with.

30 You will be in a constant state of stress.

31 You will never be irreplaceable and will be expected to constantly give 110%.

32 You will always be exhausted.

33 You will not be allowed to call in sick for a hangover.

34 You will be expected to place your work before any other part of your life in your list of priorities.

35 You will never be congratulated on your work.

36 You will be expected to treat your superiors as absolute masters and never answer back, try to explain yourself, start a conversation, or show any other type of insubordination, even if you know that they are in the wrong or feel as if their behavior towards you is unacceptable.

37 It will become very difficult to watch friends cook.

38 Your mum will stop cooking for you because she feels embarrassed.

39 You will be expected to cook for family gatherings such as Christmas EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Luckily, at least one year out of two, you will be working on Christmas.

40 At least one year out of two, and maybe every year, you will work Christmas, New Year‘s Eve, Easter, Valentine’s day, Mother’s day, Father’s day, bank holidays, Halloween, your birthday, and pretty much every other day of celebration on the calendar.

41 You will have to work many years in menial positions before attaining any level of authority in the workplace.

42 The better the restaurant is, the longer the work hours become, the more pressure you end up under, the more unhealthy your lifestyle will become, the more likely you will be to develop a habit, the more competitive the people around you will become, the less sleep you’ll get, the less you’ll eat etc.

43 You will constantly make mistakes, and every time you do make a mistake, someone will notice it and make you understand that you are clearly a subhuman because only a subhuman could make such a mistake.

44 If you are a woman, you will constantly be the subject of misogynist remarks and jokes, sexual harassment, belittlement and remarks about your menstrual cycle.

45 None of your friends or family will understand what is involved in your work and you will never be able to make them understand.

46 You will spend vast amounts of money on equipment, books, eating in good restaurants etc, which will leave you with not much money for other things.

47 You will develop a creepy obsession with knives.

48 If you are a pastry chef, you will develop a creepy obsession with spoons.

49 You will get a rash in your arse crack from the mixture of heat, sweat and friction that will not heal well, sometimes get infected, will mostly always be slimy and itchy and will be there most of the time.

50 If you are the right type of person, you will thank your lucky star every single day for the rest of your life for making you take the best decision you ever did and become a chef. And you will fall in love with your job and never look back.

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So, would I choose this profession again ?  YEP !
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Would You ???

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About these ads

Mee Noodles, Straw Mushroom & Chicken In Curry/Coconut Soup

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At  first I was going to do a “authentic”  Malay, or Burmese ,or Thai, or Indonesian, or Indian, or whatever “authentic” coconut / curry / noodle / chicken dish. But then, for what ? There is a million and one recipes  (more or less “authentic”)  out there in the internet and book world available to anyone. But by now I believe  (hopefully)  that most of my readers subscribe to   “ChefsOpinion”  because of my interpretations of dishes and the ease  of which they can be duplicated more ore less closely  (adjust to whatever tickles your fancy).  So here we go,  Hans’ authentic  :-)  version of :  Mee Noodles, Straw Mushroom & Chicken In Curry/Coconut Soup.  Enjoy. Don’t break a leg running for authentic ingredients. Use what you’ve got available, what you like and what you can afford. The single most important authentic ingredient required for most dishes is love and passion. If you cook it and folk’s and you yourself love it –  Voilà ! Success !
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Mee Noodles, Straw Mushroom & Chicken In Curry/Coconut Soup

Mee Noodles, Straw Mushroom & Chicken In Curry/Coconut Soup

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Ingredient’s :

Chicken legs,  deboned, cubed
Mee noodles,   cooked, tossed with sesame oil
Chicken stock,
Coconut milk,
Straw mushroom,
Tomato,   seeded, julienned
Avocado,   diced
Onion,   julienned
Chilis,   julienned
Scallions,   sliced
Almonds,   slivered or crashed
Limes,   wedges
Curry powder,
Turmeric,
Garlic paste,
Ginger,   grated
Fish sauce,
Maggi seasoning,
Scotch bonnet sauce,
Kosher salt,
Peanut oil,   to saute

Method :

Saute chicken, add vegetables and garlic, saute for one minute. Add garlic, ginger, curry powder, turmeric and almonds and saute until fragrant. Add coconut milk, chicken stock and salt and simmer for two minutes. Remove from heat. Add fish sauce and scotch bonnet sauce to taste (careful with the fermented fish sauce, check  HERE   first).  To serve, sprinkle with scallions and/or cilantro.


Bon Appetit !   Live is Good !

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Breakfast Of Champions # 14 ”Ham & Cheese Sandwich”

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Sautéed  Wrap With Ham, Sharp Cheddar, Pecorino Romano, Egg, Spinach & Sriracha.
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Saute spinach with onions and garlic paste in butter.
Cook eggs and ham in butter.
Sprinkle grated pecorino on wrap, top with ham,
sprinkle with sharp cheddar, top with spinach,
sprinkle with more pecorino. Top with egg.
Drizzle with sriracha. Roll into tight cylinder,
Enclose tightly with aluminium foil to prevent roll
from opening while sautéing. Cut into thick slices.
Saute slowly in butter until the cheese inside the roll
has melted and a golden, crispy crust has formed on
top and bottom.  Enjoy with a glass of ice cold milk.
What a great way to start the day  :-)

Bon Appetit !   Life is Good !
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Arrogance & Narcism Of The Highest Order ?

.Michel Bras’ gargouillou, which René Redzepi has called one of the most copied

Michel Bras' gargouillou, which René Redzepi has called one of the most copied dishes of all time [Photo: Entre Les Bras/Facebook]

Michel Bras’ gargouillou, which René Redzepi has called one of the most copied dishes of all time [Photo: Entre Les Bras/Facebook]

Dear  Friend’s
If you think the picture above shows a pretty presentation and is worth to pay a few bucks for in a nice restaurant, so that you have something to nibble on until the real food arrives, then we speak the same language.
If on the other hand you think this represents culinary art, innovation and groundbreaking plating technique, we might not be from the same planet.


Here is what has started to tick me off lately:
A spectacle is being made by a bunch of chef’s about copy protecting recipes, cooking techniques, plating details and styles. One recent headline on “Eater” read:

Inspiration and Attribution in Cooking:
How and When Should Chefs Credit Their Sources?

What a tremendous load of bullcrap !
It is one thing to credit your sources for a ”unique“  recipe, technique, idea and / or influence out of respect and good manners.
It is a whole other story to, as some donkey’s now do, ”demand” credit for something that has been around for years, decades or even centuries.
Lot’s of chef’s nowaday’s call themself innovators, visionaries, inventors, when all they do is change,  grow, and, hopefully, refine established ideas, techniques, method’s and ingredient’s.

- Fried Hollandaise ? Hollandaise has been around for a long time, folks. Frying   too !
- Foraging for food ? Come on guys, even my great great great great  great… grandfather was foraging for food.
- Food trucks ? Been around for decades in Europe, (See also food carts in other parts of the world)
- Elaborate presentations? Medival cuisines started that trend.
- Use of the wole animal? Come on, really?
- Sprinkle a few leaves, herbs and edible flours on a plate “painted” with a sauce or coulis? Ask your twelve year old to give you a hand.

While there are without doubt a few (very few) chef’s out there who are true innovators, artist’s and culinary visionaries, the majority of dishes, techniques, presentation, ingredients, and combinations, have been around forever. Some have come and gone, some have looked and tasted a bit different, some have not been as popular and many have come from other parts of the world and simple been introduced to a unknowing group of people who did not travel or frequent ethnic restaurants (or food trucks) and were therefore never introduced to stuff which was already well established elsewhere.

Now, just imagine to take this nonsense a step further and contemplete the following:

Everytime you write a menu, you give credit to the creator of the tomato soup, baked potato, grilled steak, poched fish, lemon wedge, compound butter, turning spaghetty with a fork, sprinkling cheese on top of pasta, a ham & cheese sandwich, blanching and shocking in ice water, decorating your pudding with whipped cream (EXTRA credit if you add vanilla, extra extra credit if you add sugar, extra extra extra credit if you call it chantilly) Where would it start? I certainly could never end and be nothing but a pointless excercise. Professional chef’s are well aware of the names of the creators of certain dishes, techniques, even garnishes (Melba; Celestine, Grand Mere, Cafe du Paris), but in my humble opinion the names of these creators and innovators are still alive today because what the have created was worthwile to cherish, admire, look at and most of all, eat, eat and eat again !

Ahhh, a little venting does one good  :-)
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Bon Appetit !   Life is Good !
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Am I Obsolete ?

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I love food

I love food for the sake of food.
Does that make me obsolete? Out of touch? Old fashioned?
Removed?  Aged? Antiquated?  Archaic,? Bygone? A fossil?
Moth-eaten?  Out-of-date?  Outmoded? Primeval? A relic?
Or just plain stupid ?

Why do I ask this question ?
Well, most of my post’s are getting very positive, kind,
approving comments, which makes me happy , appreciated and
assured that traditional, simple, real food still has a stronghold
in the culinary universe. Most of my followers are food professionals
of  a certain age, the “riper” age usually, and a wide variety of
older, younger, middle aged, more or less experienced home
cooks, culinary students and food enthusiasts of all sort’s.
Great ! Who would complain? I certainly don’t !
But I really wonder why I don’t attract more so called FOODIES.
Isn’t the whole point of calling oneself a foodie the point to indicate
a strong love of  all types  of food, in any way, shape and form ?
Yet it seems to me  that some (most?) foodies are more interested in
creations that look like architectural creations, less like FOOD that is
nourishing, tastes great and is beautiful to look at. When I look at the
Internet lately and see some of the dishes out there, I ask myself if
there really is a huge part of the population which think’s that a 30 course
tasting menu made of lot’s of unidentifiable stuff that takes 4 hours
or more  to consume and cost as much as a used car is the new way to eat daily ?

While I am the first person to enjoy some of these foods and I can
appreciate the time, craft, effort and artistry that has gone into that kind of food,
by extremely passionate, highly professional chef geniuses who are truly amazing and
are bestowed with rare culinary gifts, insight and energy, I will never assume
that this is the way people will eat regularly in the future, breakfast, lunch and
dinner. I rather think meals like that should be appreciated
for what they are supposed to represent : Special rare, highly anticipated occasions
which are extraordinary for their cost, beauty, and rarity.

Besides, a lot of these so called modern interpretations of food
are nothing but weird, ridiculous crap, produced by people who call themselves
chefs and innovators who don’t have the slightest idea about good FOOD,
I am highly amazed of the large amount of guest’s in some of these “temples of modern cuisine”
who are gullible  enough to fall for some of the idiotic concoctions presented as innovations.

Again, I want to highly stress that I am a strong believer and admirer of innovation, artistry,
extraordinary new way’s to prepare and present old and proven dishes and explore
new way’s to prepare and improve long forgotten and under-appreciated ingredients
and find new food items and combinations nobody thought of before or which were
just ahead of their time .
But, Food is food. Crap is crap. Period.

So, I beseech all food lovers out there, old and young, experienced or not,
professional or not, to please don’t let the cuisine of our culinary tradition disappear.

Let’s continue to cook and eat them with the respect, love and passion they deserve.
Please continue to explore new stuff, experiment, develop, evolve and improve our
beloved culinary heritage.

I look at myself in the mirror and see an old man, but I
don’t think that should be a reason to dispose of me.

Same with our food. Old can mean ripe, proven, always reliable, satisfying,
reassuring and a great addition to new and exciting way’s and thing’s.

In conclusion, I believe there is a time for everything:

A )  A time for expensive, highly elevated food, presented in the most outrageously beautiful amazing fashion   :-)
B)   A time for excellent, beautiful, nourishing, economic, simple food, presented nice, clean and appetizing  :-)

C) There should NEVER be a time for pretentious crap  :-(

Bon Appetit !
Good Is Good. Crap Is Crap !
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Phyllo & Pork Cigars

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Many  years ago, when I went to Istanbul for the first time, one day my friend’s and I went to a port side restaurant which had the day’s menu displayed as actual food on a table outside.
One of the things that caught our eyes where wonderful pastries, rolled up like cigarettes and obviously stuffed with ???  We could not find out from the waiter what it was stuffed with (nobody at  the place spoke english ), but because they looked so appetizing we ordered a bunch. When they were served, much to my disappointment the first bite almost made me gag, because they were filled with  feta cheese  amongst other goodies. My friend’s loved the “cigarettes”, but sadly, I could not eat them. Although I am a fanatic cheese lover, one of the few cheeses I can not eat is feta cheese. But over the years, these pastries vividly stayed in my memories of my first visit to  Turkey  and I have since then created many different versions. ( None of them containing goat cheese ) but using fillings made of lamb, shrimps, lobster, vegetables, fish, as well as a number of sweet fillings, chocolate, strawberries, bananas, etc. They are great as party food, snack, appetizer or, as here, a main course .
Here is a version of  Turkish Sigara Boregi I concocted earlier today. Because they served as dinner, I made them much thicker then the usual Sigara Boregi, so instead of cigarettes I call them Cigars  :-)
I just loved this dish, Bella and I pigged out and eat the whole tray for dinner, all eight of them.
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Ingredient’s :

Pork,  ground
Vegetable stock,
Onions,  diced
Peppers,  diced
chilies,  diced
( I like my filling VERY spicy. If you don’t,
you might want to hold off on the scotch bonnet’s )
Tomato,  chopped
Garlic,  paste
Kosher salt,
Smoked paprika,
Parmigiano reggiano, finely grated
Butter, for phyllo
Olive oil,  to saute
Red wine,  to deglaze


Method :

Saute the meat in the olive oil until it start’s to brown.
Add the vegetables, continue sauteing until the onions
are translucent. Deglaze with red wine, add stock and
seasoning. Let simmer until meat is done and liquid
has mostly evaporated.
Brush each phyllo sheet with butter before topping with
the next sheet. In this recipe I have used three layers of
phyllo. Put some of the pork on one end of the phyllo sheets,
sprinkle cheese on top, roll up into cigar shape, cut to desired length.
A variation would be to sprinkle the pork loosely over the
entire surface and the roll them into cigarette sized rolls.
As dipping sauces I had sweet Thai chili sauce and dill-yogurt.

 Bon Appetit !   Life is Good !
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” Dave Arnold And Harold McGee Do Cool Stuff To Eggs At Harvard “

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Dear Friend’s 
I came across this on cookingdistrict.com and thought you might enjoy this as much as I did.
Take a few minutes time out and have Fun  :-)

Image Source: Crazy Chefs

Dave Arnold And Harold McGee Do Cool Stuff To Eggs At Harvard
By Lisa McLaughlin on September 12, 2012

The new school year has begun and with it comes the first lecture of the 2012 Food and Science Lecture Series at Harvard. The first installment featured Dave Arnold, the uber creative Director of Culinary Technology at the International Culinary Center and Dave Arnold and gastronomic guru Harold McGee talk about soft matter science, explosions, mayonnaise making, haute cuisine, make some dragon’s beard, and do some super cool stuff with eggs.

See the video HERE
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” Salad Of Romaine, Salame, Gorgonzola & Pomegranate / Blueberry Dressing “

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Although I love pasta and stews of any kind more than any other food,
a close third place is definitely a nice salad. Last night the salad God’s
were knocking at my door, leaving me with this wonderful, quick and easy
concoction :
Romaine, salame, roquefort, egg, carrot, tomato, onion and
pomegranate / blueberry Dressing.
Salad Heaven, right there   :-)
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Ingredient’s :

Romaine lettuce,           cut
Tomatoes,                       sliced
Onions,                           sliced
Carrots,                           julienned
Eggs,                                made into thin crepe, julienned
Garlic,                              paste
Salame,                            thickly julienned
Gorgonzola,                   coarsely  crumbled
Dressing,                        Pomegranate / blueberry/garlic

Method :

Mix all ingredients lightly and serve with a slice of rustic bread
to mop up the dressing and bits at the bottom of the plate.

In this case I used ready made dressing ( Litehouse Pom / Blueberry),
which I enhanced a bit to my taste with garlic paste. Obviously the
choice of dressing, as well as any other ingredient to this salad is
open to change and additions. Just follow your heart, your
cravings and your phantasy  :-)

Bon Appetit !   Life is Good !
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” Smoked Pig’s Tail, Bow Ties & Vegetable Stew “

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In my opinion, pig‘s tails are the second best part of the whole pig,
right after the cheek’s. I prefere them brined and simmered, served
with a good mustard and sour dough bread. However, I found those
smoked ones at my neighbor hood store and what better way to enjoy
them then in a good stew  :-)
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Ingredient‘s :

Smoked pig’s tail’s,
Bow tie pasta,                    cooked, al dente
Cauliflower,                       blanched
Broccoli,                             blanched
Carrots,                               blanched
Scallions,                            sliced
Tomatoes,                          wedges
Ginger,                                grated
Garlic,                                 paste
Cilantro,                             chopped
Cayenne pepper,               to taste
Kosher salt,                       to taste
Maggi seasoning,             to taste

Method :

Simmer pig’s tail’s in lightly seasoned water until tender.
Add all other ingredients, simmer until heated through.
Serve with rustic sour dough bread.

Bon Appetit !   Life is Good !
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” China Is Building an Army of Noodle-Making Robots “

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I came across this at “EATER” and thought my readers would enjoy this.
If these robot‘s cost only $2000, they could be a great, cheap gimmick on a coffeeshop’s pasta buffet .
Your comments please, or choose an answer from the poll below    :-)
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Image from “EATER”

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Excerpts from “EATER” :

In the face of rising labor costs, Chinese restaurateur Cui Runguan is selling thousands of robots that can hand slice noodles into a pot of boiling water called the Chef Cui.
Runguan says in the report below that just like robots replacing workers in factories, “it is certainly going to happen in sliced noodle restaurants.”
The robots costs $2,000 each, as compared to a chef, who would cost $4,700 a year. According to one chef, “The robot chef can slice noodles better than human chefs.”
News of Runguan’s invention hit the internet in March of 2011, but they’ve since gone into production and are starting to catch on: 3,000 of them have already been sold.
But why do their eyes glow, and why do they look so angry?
Read more and see the video HERE
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